Zombie-Proofing: Use Your Head, Keep Your Brain

By Nationwide Windows
Posted in Home Improvement on July 03, 2012

There are (1) comments permalink

It is in any homeowner's best interest to fortify their home against intruders. Most burglars are easily deterred by a few deadbolts and strong double-paned windows. Unfortunately, we aren't talking about most burglars, we're talking about the living dead. Although they lack the mental facilities and patience necessary to pick locks or use tools more complicated than baseball bats, there are a few things a proactive homeowner can do to ensure their home is safe from zombies.

Some will argue that this is ridiculous and preparing against an attack by zombies is, ironically, overkill. Any good Boy Scout will tell you it's better to be prepared and still alive than be underprepared, caught off guard, and have your brains eaten. But whose house do you think those unprepared neighbors are going to be running to when the undead are ambling up the lane? You might wait for the hordes to subside before saying, "I told you so."

Simply put, any home's areas of weakness are its windows and doors. No intruder would choose to go through a wall when a door can be kicked in or a window can be smashed. Single pane windows and doors with a single deadbolt don't stand a chance. Unfortunately, doors with windows are particularly undesirable because the window's proximity to the door allows an intruder to simply break the window and reach through to open the door. 

Considering the behavior of most zombies, there are some important actions one can take that won't draw the attention of judgmental neighbors and could save the lives of you and your family. Zombies are rude. They won't ring your doorbell and wait for you to open the door. They are persistent and will usually attack the windows of your home first and then the doors. 

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Windows are usually the weakest point of entry for intruders. Double-paned, locked, and reinforced windows will provide the best protection. If time permits, boarding up windows is a wise choice. If you have the hurricane security shutters used in coastal areas subject to tropical storms, you'll almost certainly survive any zombie attack, food and water supply permitting. Such precautions might raise suspicions in the landlocked Midwest, but judgmental neighbors are the least of your worries. A famous zombie killer once said, "If you use your brain, you'll probably keep it." Window reinforcement film can provide an aesthetic alternative to unsightly hurricane shutters and some brands even claim their products can strengthen glass up to ten times. The timing of an attack cannot be predicted and if you're in your car, you'll be thankful that window strengthening film can also be applied to vehicles. 

The second area of a home most subject to breach by the undead is the doors. Steel-core or other reinforced doors are best. Zombies are not traditionally resourceful creatures but they are persistent and have an incredibly high tolerance for pain. They'll bang on your door until their arms fall off, literally. Most doors can withstand stress from a singular zombie, but zombies usually travel in packs and most doors won't endure a beating long enough to provide occupants peace of mind. Therefore, it is imperative to invest in doors and locks built to withstand forces greater than expected.

Unfortunately, no person can guarantee than any preventative measure taken against the occupation of the hostile undead will work without fail. However, simple and reasonable measures such as those listed above will provide the highest chances for survival in the case of an attack. Remember, if you use your brain, you'll probably keep it.

If you need help upgrading your home’s windows, doors, roofing or siding- in order to keep zombies and other dangers out of your home- contact Nationwide for a free home improvement estimate!

Comments (1)

ashad hossain posted on: January 4, 2014

If time permits, boarding up windows is a wise choice. If you have the hurricane security shutters used in coastal areas subject to tropical storms, At Storm Smart, one of our goals is to continually provide our clients with the most innovative, quality tested, energy efficient product options available.

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